I just want to disclaim for your mental stability before I go any further: My mind doesn’t exactly work properly.

I just want to disclaim for your mental stability before I go any further: My mind doesn’t exactly work properly. It comes up with some silly things.

I have been thinking lately that it is a bit strange that humanity has a habit to be entertained by matters more dire than the situations we find ourselves in as a matter of giving ourselves perspective. I have instead been trying to go to better places in order to strive to be better and surpass or transcend my personal scenarios.

In this context, I was looking through Blades in the Dark and the idea of keeping most of the trappings but changing the focus came into my head. This was on the heels of watching “Gangs of New York” as it was the most Blades film I had access to. My brain twisted the Crews into the following demented shapes:

Party Planners (Assassins; or Waiting in the Dark) – It’s all about the Perfect Moment. The Perfect Plan. The Perfect Gift. The Guest List. Because Aunt Rita is still grieving over her precious Peaches, and Uncle Lew is a callous womanizer, so you can’t put them at the same table. Your crew really knows how to get it right, so when everyone jumps out and yells, “SURPRISE!” there are tears of perfect joy.

Your crew just got the ultimate challenge. Lord Scurlock, in the middle of a three hundred year old funk, has commissioned you to throw him the ultimate surprise party. He doesn’t want to know when it goes down, where it’s going to be, or that he even hired you. He doesn’t even want to see your crew setting things up. And, he wants to have fun. Can you pull it off?

Bakers (Hawkers; Cakes in the Dark) – The perfect icing, the right texture to the cake. You make the meanest cake this side of the Dagger Isles. But your crew just started their catering business. There are so many other victual shops in Duskval; can your crew make it on their confections, or will they be consumed by the competition? This would also make a great Iron Chef campaign.

Singing Telegram (Smugglers; Brakes in the Dark) – You’re couriers, using your bicycle network to deliver the missives, party invitations, and maybe even the mail in Duskval. “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gang fight nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”

I also think Smugglers would be great for something like Sons of Anarchy, or a bosozoku gang.

I couldn’t think of anything suitable for the breakers, cultists or shadows.